It is imperative that the understanding of the Gob not be confused with the traditional definition of the term. Although some aspects of the Good Ol’ Boy Network (see wiki entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
#1 You are never wrong.
As a Gob, you know how many uncomfortable situations you find yourself in due to lack of planning, not having anywhere near the proficiency levels you claimed, or just simply being too drunk. There may be a small voice inside your head that tries to coax you into yielding and trying to rectify the situation through making concessions. Now is when you must call upon every ounce of fortitude within and repeat the mantra I am NOT wrong, I am NOT wrong. Who is to say you ARE wrong, anyway? Last time I checked, morals and laws were completely subjective. In these trying situations, the worst possible thing you can do is admit fault or offer any form of apology. The best defense is a good offense – isn’t that what WWI and the Von Schlieffen Plan taught us? If anyone even hints at calling you out (i.e. asking if you need them to call you a cab), you must immediately attack. If it is someone you know, use your knowledge of them to tear into their character, family, etc. Maybe their father was an abusive alcoholic. Maybe their parents went through a nasty divorce which scarred their childhood. The trick is going after the deepest most sensitive aspects of their life. I doubt they, or anyone else in the room for that matter, are going to be worried so much about you and your predicament after you just publicly announced how Uncle Ron is in jail because Mr. Trying-to-call-you-out couldn’t keep his mouth shut and take it like a man at 8 years old. *Try not to rely on racial/gay or physical assaults, but if you’re dealing with a new acquaintance your options may be limited.
Dan
#1 You are never wrong.
As a Gob, you know how many uncomfortable situations you find yourself in due to lack of planning, not having anywhere near the proficiency levels you claimed, or just simply being too drunk. There may be a small voice inside your head that tries to coax you into yielding and trying to rectify the situation through making concessions. Now is when you must call upon every ounce of fortitude within and repeat the mantra I am NOT wrong, I am NOT wrong. Who is to say you ARE wrong, anyway? Last time I checked, morals and laws were completely subjective. In these trying situations, the worst possible thing you can do is admit fault or offer any form of apology. The best defense is a good offense – isn’t that what WWI and the Von Schlieffen Plan taught us? If anyone even hints at calling you out (i.e. asking if you need them to call you a cab), you must immediately attack. If it is someone you know, use your knowledge of them to tear into their character, family, etc. Maybe their father was an abusive alcoholic. Maybe their parents went through a nasty divorce which scarred their childhood. The trick is going after the deepest most sensitive aspects of their life. I doubt they, or anyone else in the room for that matter, are going to be worried so much about you and your predicament after you just publicly announced how Uncle Ron is in jail because Mr. Trying-to-call-you-out couldn’t keep his mouth shut and take it like a man at 8 years old. *Try not to rely on racial/gay or physical assaults, but if you’re dealing with a new acquaintance your options may be limited.
Dan
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